I've made the executive decision to preserve the chat artifact and will be pasting from IM start-to-finish verbatim (and yes that does mean that I struck up the conversation below with a pudding non-sequitur), so please do your best to enjoy any quirks in punctuation, spelling, profanity and continuity.
If you think you might be interested in being a part of this little adventure and taking about an hour out of your day to chat with me for public consumption, please don't hesitate to shoot me an email at mack@thisblueheaven.com or message me on Facebook!
And now, without further ado, I give you my first duologue - with my good friend Brendan Boogie!
Brendan Boogie: It is beyond human comprehension.
me: amen.
Brendan Boogie: I had an idea - combining butterscotch with honey BBQ sauce and putting it on grilled chicken.
Make it happen, science.
me: and the interview was going so well...
Brendan Boogie: It wasn't going THAT well.
me: i still have half a cup of pudding left so i think i'll make it.
now my next question is this... how many serious answers can i expect from you today?
Brendan Boogie: Don't you worry - I have a well-developed serious side.
me: (it'll help determine which ones to ask)
Brendan Boogie: Ask them all. I've got all day, baby girl.
me: righto.
who are you?
Brendan Boogie: My name is Brendan. I'm a Leo. My turnoffs include rude people, venereal diseases, and hipster cupcake joints.
me: ooooh! brilliant! let's make this a contest to see who can catch all the thinly veiled digs & instances of trash talking in your interview and who they're aimed at! it'll be a good scene-building exercies.
*exercise
Brendan Boogie: I try not to trash too many people. By name, anyway.
me: that's why it'll be fun :)
Brendan Boogie: Here's hoping!
me: do you consider yourself a nice guy? not y'know, "nice guy" like "oh he's such a nice guy" but just... a nice guy...
Brendan Boogie: I value kindness very much. Probably above just about anything else. So I try to be kind, yes.
Do you consider me a nice guy?
me: in my head i call you Brendan That Big Sweetie.
what else do you value?
Brendan Boogie: Hmmm... kindness really trumps everything. I think it's the most important thing a person can have. I think everything comes out of that.
But I also value humor.
And pain.
That's sort of a weird thing to say, I know.
But pain is a very essential part of being alive. I think people who try too hard to avoid emotional pain are very much missing out on a lot of learning about themselves.
Sorry - you didn't think I was going to get this deep this fast, did you?
me: it certainly makes my job easier!
do any examples come to mind for you from your own life?
Brendan Boogie: Of learning from pain?
me: right
Brendan Boogie: Well, the last girlfriend I had dumped me and I was amazed that people reacted with things like "Don't worry, you'll find someone else" or "She sucks" or whatever.
And I know that they were just trying to make me feel better.
But can you imagine a friend died and someone said "Don't worry - you'll find another friend."
So I guess I learned I was less interested in making the pain go away than mourning it. And coming through the other side of the mourning.
me: i've heard people grieving the death of someone express similar complaints about the things people say in an attempt to comfort them. it is really interesting the things that people say in response to loss. the fact is there's nothing to say. there's loss. there's pain. it just is. we're not comfortable with things like that. or withgrief.
Brendan Boogie: (Sorry, my internet sucks sometimes)
if you sent something, I didn't get it
me: (no worries)
me: i've heard people grieving the death of someone express similar complaints about the things people say in an attempt to comfort them. it is really interesting the things that people say in response to loss. the fact is there's nothing to say. there's loss. there's pain. it just is. we're not comfortable with things like that. or withgrief.
Brendan Boogie: Right and that's a shame, because there's a lot of really rich things in there.
What do you usually say if someone gets dumped?
You're a pretty empathic person. I can imagine its pretty good.
me: hmm, i think i usually say i'm sorry and then ask what happened...
and how they're doing
nothing too revolutionary.
Brendan Boogie: Yeah, I think that's good. Just "I'm sorry, that really sucks" seems to be the way to go, in my mind.
So good job!
me: :)
so, this idea that there is something to be gained from experiencing grief - or pain more generally - is not terribly popular in our culture, of course. but i've done some reading especially about how boys are discouraged from feeling (let alone expressing) pain.
so i guess my question is...
how are you so open?
Brendan Boogie: I come from a long line of wussies. The Boogie men are cryers.
Our family crest is a cartoon of a man drunk texting "PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME!" at 3am.
me: the boogie men. ha.
Brendan Boogie: You thought there was just one of me?
We're EVERYwhere.
In your closet, under your bed...
me: ...drunk texting
Brendan Boogie: At all hours of the night.
me: are the other boogie men also musicians?
Brendan Boogie: Not really. My dad has a great voice. A classic Irish tenor. My mom sang in choir and whatnot, but I'm the only real performer of the family.
me: leesa coyne says her performing drive has to do with being a leo. maybe that's true for you, too...
oh, did you take the "bs myers-briggs?"
Brendan Boogie: I did and it was WAY off.
ESJF*
me: "your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system"
"people persons - they love people"
this isn't sounding like you at all.
Brendan Boogie: This is what one site said: "does not like being alone, thinks life has purpose/meaning, values organized religion, does not like strange people/things - likely intolerant of differences, open, easy to read, dislikes science fiction"
Wrong on all counts.
me: yeah 'cause you like BSG!
wait you don't think life has meaning?
Brendan Boogie: I love sci fi. Jung was full of sh*t. He slept with all his female patients, you know.
No, I don't.
I mean, not in any overarching sense. It's different for everyone. We all make our own meaning.
me: and just because jung was immoral doesn't mean he was wrong about everything!
but isn't that incredibly meaningful?
Brendan Boogie: But ultimately, we're just a random collection of cells that evolved this way for no designed reason.
It's all what we make of it.
me: well exactly!
Brendan Boogie: I don't consider that having "meaning."
me: ...maybe i've been thinking of "meaning" as self-created for so long that it's automatically part of the definition in my mind, but i guess i see the action of making things meaningful as more meaningful than if they were already assigned some kind of meaning.
that sentence ruled.
Brendan Boogie: Yeah, top notch.
me: thanks!
this sounds true, too: "They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves."
Brendan Boogie: That must be the positive spin.
I definitely like that version better.
Ok, I was wrong about you, Jung!
Your archetypes are f*cking AWEsome!
me: oh man, this is going well. i redeemed jung!
anyway, i think that description sounds like the heart of what you do for the music community.
Brendan Boogie: Wow. Thank you.
me: the cover-up is a great example of seeing the best in people and giving them an opportunity to act that out in a way that people will easily recognize.
very jungian, actually.
:)
Brendan Boogie: Ok, don't push it with the Jung stuff.
me: bah ha ha
okay okay
Brendan Boogie: To me, The Cover-Up is all about loving music.
The performers are having an absolute blast playing the music and that joy just absolutely rockets out to the audience, who give it right back.
The prerequisite for playing a Cover-Up is to be absolutely psyched about it.
We've have young bands, more experienced band, bands that were made up that night, etc. As long as they're having the time of their lives, the audience loves it.
There's nothing more infectious than joy.
Except maybe crabs.
I've heard. (cough)
me: ::snort::
i'm gonna have to learn to cut in with my thoughts (in this case "people are so magical") before you get to the punchline.
Brendan Boogie: You really typed "People are so magical"?
me: i was thinking it
but i was being polite while you typed.
and then the moment had passed.
but YES world, i think people are magical.
i mean
they're also horrifying.
it works both ways.
like the force.
that's why we need boogie men.
Brendan Boogie: Well, I'm horrible at times, too. Don't you worry about that.
But that outlook is exactly why I wanted to do this interview with you - I think you and I seem to have a similar outlook in a lot of ways.
By that, I mean you can be optimistic and realistic at the same time.
That's what I get off you.
Which is probably why we get along so well.
In the short time I've known you, you've very quickly shot up the "My Favorite People" List.
me: no way! you know a LOT of people.
that's very humbling. thank you.
Brendan Boogie: Right now, you're 3 slots behind Conan O'Brien and one ahead of Batman.
me: AHEAD OF BATMAN!
this is officially the Best Interview Ever.
Brendan Boogie: Well - the George Clooney Batman.
me: hahaha
Brendan Boogie: Sorry, should have qualified that.
me: i actually liked clooney's batman.
Brendan Boogie: So ask me some more of those awesome MacKenzie questions.
me: second to christian bale. i still love him. for me, newsies still trumps that awful temper tantrum.
okay let's see.
Brendan Boogie: If you can make Stu seem interesting, you're a skilled interviewer indeed.
:)
me: that's 2!
Brendan Boogie: HeyOH!
me: what's the best advice you've ever received?
Brendan Boogie: My dad told me to make sure that you're with someone who loves you for who you ARE.
Seems simple, but its kind of essential.
me: why are in all caps?
as opposed to - ?
Brendan Boogie: Who they want you to be, who you SHOULD be, who you COULD be, etc.
me: mmm - wise.
what's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to you?
Brendan Boogie: I feel like people say nice things to me all the time. Maybe I just have selective memory and only remember the good stuff, but I feel like I live in a constant world of positive reinforcement.
me: if it's selective memory, i'd say that's quite a gift.
Brendan Boogie: Yeah, I think it's just what I try to put out there, so it comes back to me in spades.
me: ohhh that almost sounds like a meaningful universe
Brendan Boogie: Which makes me sound way more hippie than I actually am.
Don't get me wrong - I'm still a huge skeptic and don't believe in man's inherent goodness or anything like that.
I think we make our own meaning in a meaningless universe.
I've just decided to fill mine full of positivity and root beer floats.
Speaking of which - I have a question for you:
If someone has something bad to say about you, would you rather them say it to your face or behind your back?
me: to my face.
Brendan Boogie: I completely disagree.
I would WAY rather have it said behind my back.
me: why?
Brendan Boogie: Because why do I need my day disrupted by someone else's stupid opinion of me?
I'd rather be blissfully ignorant.
It comes down to a bigger question - which do you value more: honesty or kindness?
me: i think the thing for me (INFP!) is that i can usually sense when someone has something bad to say about me...
Brendan Boogie: Me too, but I ignore it.
me: ah. yeah i can't. it already intrudes.
Brendan Boogie: The way I see it, it's their problem.
I dislike people all the time. That's not their problem.
Who am I to throw it on them?
I think "keeping it real" is ultimately just being too selfish to have good manners.
Why would you rather have it said to your face?
me: well sure, i mean i don't want anyone to go out of their way to be mean to me if it's not about something that ultimately matters. but if it's important enough that they have to say it to someone else, then it has a life. whether it's presented to me directly or not.
and when that happens sometimes the "life" of that kind of thing becomes way more powerful than if the person it were handled directly.
*than if it were handled directly
Brendan Boogie: See, I am impervious to passive aggression.
me: oh man.
i'm allergic to it.
Brendan Boogie: It doesn't work on me.
me: do you give lessons in that?
Brendan Boogie: I just take people at their word. Period.
me: i've learned to do that but only as a tool to get people to communicate more directly with me. :)
Brendan Boogie: And if they're secretly mad about it, that's their problem. I think it's all about not owning other people's problems.
me: so it's not really ignoring it.
Brendan Boogie: I'll listen to them, but not own them.
me: makes sense.
Brendan Boogie: Some people find that annoying about me.
But they can suck it.
:)
me: i'm sure they do.
uh
find it annoying i mena.
*mean
Brendan Boogie: This interview is drifting into "2-parter" territory, I think.
me: yeah. punk.
Brendan Boogie: Ha
me: okay short answer
Brendan Boogie: ok
let's do it
me: perfect audience, one word
Brendan Boogie: Challenging.
me: what makes you happy?
Brendan Boogie: Hearing and being heard.
me: what pisses you off?
Brendan Boogie: "Art."
me: okay i have to stop you here.
what do you mean?
Brendan Boogie: Whenever that word "art" comes into play, it often translates as being more about the performer than the audience.
Doing crazy "art rock" is about the least courageous thing you can do.
Because if the audience doesn't like it, they're not smart enough to "get it."
It's a nice little safety net.
And it drives me up the wall.
me: in that instance, does it bother you more that people aren't courageous or that they're condescending to the audience?
Brendan Boogie: Both. It's more about the audience being an afterthought. I don't have a problem with people not taking risks, but these people THINK they're being very avant garde and "in your face."
When they have NO risk of failure whatsoever.
It's a false sense of courage.
It's a bit of a pet peeve of mine.
I'm not saying they should stop doing it. I just hope they advertise it well so I'll know to be somewhere else that night.
me: good boundaries.
what freaks you out?
Brendan Boogie: Not much.
me: oh c'mon.
something
Brendan Boogie: I'm pretty unfreakable.
me: hmmm... clowns?
Brendan Boogie: Nope. I guess I don't like lizards that much. Or heights.
But that's more of a phobia than something that "freaks me out."
me: what cracks you up?
Brendan Boogie: Spray tans.
me: that freaks me out.
okay one more question.
Brendan Boogie: One more?
me: for today
Brendan Boogie: we're just getting started!
me: okay 2 more.
Brendan Boogie: Ha
me: first.
stu said he'd take you on the tardis with doctor who - so you can trash-talk him. (for the record i think this is primarily because he's a bit threatened by my crush on matt smith.) anyway. in that scenario, where and when in time and space would you want to go?
Brendan Boogie: Hmmm... I think I'd want to go back to October 10, 1968 and see my parents meet.
They have a pretty fascinating story.
He was a Catholic priest from Ireland 13 years her senior. The odds were astronomical, but they're still together today.
(He left the priesthood, obviously.)
But I can imagine their early life together was fraught with a lot of challenges and I'd like to see how they got through them to end up being the people they became.
me: father boogie?!
Brendan Boogie: Father O'Boogie. F*ckers at Ellis Island changed it.
me: oh right.
that's a great story.
okay last question.
what do you want it to be?
Brendan Boogie: ha
is that the question?
Hit me with your best shot.
me: no, this is all in parentheses.
Brendan Boogie: Whatever you want.
me: what is something you secretly hope everyone else thinks, too?
Brendan Boogie: Hmmmm...
It's tough, because I honestly don't care that much what everyone thinks.
Damn, you saved the hardest question for last, didn't you?
me: you said to hit you with my best shot!
i've got time.
Brendan Boogie: I guess I try to approach everyone that I meet as if they're doing the best they can.
And I guess I'd like it if we all approached each other that way.
Because if you start there, it's a lot better place to start than a place of judgment.
And its a more practical place as far as living with each other on this dying rock of a planet.
That's an upbeat ending, huh?
me: next interview we're going to talk about your way of putting a bitter twist at the end of all your (or my) optimistic assertions. 'cause i've been wondering about that.
so think of a good answer! :)
thanks for the great conversation!
Brendan Boogie: Ok, so next time I'm going to interview you.
So you can bring that up then.
me: sounds good!
Brendan Boogie: It's always a pleasure, my dear.
me: see you tomorrow?
Brendan Boogie: Of course
me: awesome.
have a good night!
Brendan Boogie: you too
*ESFJ: The Control Freak
Champions of rule and tradition, defender of convention and order, the ESFJ values predictability, consistency, promptness, and continuity. This love of order, stability, and tradition most often manifests as a fanatical and almost compulsive control freakery, combined with an anal-retentive streak that is at once maddening and infuriating to those around them.
ESFJs are often friendly, outgoing, and generous, at least until you cross them. This generous nature, in combination with their obsessive need for control, makes them ideal for such jobs as Jedi master, senior bank teller, or middle management at a large chain department store. Most ESFJs die of heart attacks, at least the ones who aren't slain in a galactic power coup made possible by the rigid, dogmatic inflexibility and self-absorbed narcissism of their Jedi order.
RECREATION: ESFJs are fond of celebrating birthdays, bar mitzvahs, initiations into the grand order of the Golden Dawn, and other momentous occasions. They also take delight in creating elaborate schedules on their PDAs, memorizing the Periodic Table of Elements, and ripping off the heads of those who cross them before laying their eggs in the victim's neck, which hatch into larvae that devour the victim over a period of many years.
COMPATIBILITY: ESFJs are most compatible with ESTJs, who love and cherish the ESFJ's control freakery.
Famous ESFJs: Fame? A Jedi craves not these things!
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