One day several years ago I was walking along a sidewalk. A friend was walking her dog behind me. My father had called and I needed to speak with him for some reason, so I was walking along ahead of my friend and talking to my father on the phone for a little stretch. When I got off the phone and turned around, my friend asked, "Were you doing that on purpose?" I had no idea what she meant, so she informed me that I had been swerving back and forth from the left edge of the sidewalk to the right edge of the sidewalk and back again and forth again in a long serpentine line. I hadn't even noticed.
Yes this is some kinda metaphor for my life and the way my path seems to wend its way forward. Back and forth I go (like a good gemini) between the "opposing" sides of me: Light and dark? Rational and emotional? Structured and flowing? Practical and artsy? Am I so dualistic? If I am, why do I always seem to surprise people with my choices? I came to Boston to write stories and save money, but I ended up singing in a pop band and, well, let's not talk about what indie rocking has done to my bank balance, shall we? Even I look back sometimes and think, "What the."
Life can only be understood backwards -- Kierkegaard said that and I agree. But what if instead of looking behind me, I looked down to see the path I've traveled as a heaven-bound corkscrew? Isn't a serpentine line what you'd get if you tried to unwind a spiral? I only look snakey when I try to fit in two dimensions. Remember how boring a slinky is when it gets all stretched out? I do -- it spoils all the fun! Well, that clinches it: I hereby declare my life-journey to be not the sine wave of a flat-headed serpent, but the airstream of a daredevil barnstormer pirouetting into the sky. Ha!
Doesn't change the fact that I only got 3 hours of sleep last night (2 states down, 2 to go!) but somehow I feel better anyway.
Happy Friday the 13th.
