Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Life intention, Part I

I was quite fresh out of college. I was sitting on a city bus in Madison, Wisconsin, on my way to my $11 an hour temp job processing mortgages at the credit union. The country was in its early economic reeling from 9/11 and mortgage interest rates were plummeting, so everyone was refinancing. Outside it was gray. The bus floor was slimy with grit. My co-riders always seemed to include someone in an inexpensive suit with a worn leather briefcase, someone large and gray-headed in a lopsided stocking cap, someone in a thin insulated plaid shirt looking tired, someone around my age with shinier shoes and tamer hair than mine. On this November day, I took out my journal and, in jagged script from the jolting of the bus ride, I wrote this:

I will live my life passionately aware of its significance. I will not settle for security when meaning is jeopardized. I will not settle for the status quo but will fervently pursue life's riches. I will face challenges with courage and the understanding that all experiences have the potential to make me a better person. I will continuously seek to understand and love life, myself, and others. I will passionately pursue happiness. I will flourish. I will love.

That moment has stayed vivid in my memory. If not the exact words that I wrote, still the urgent need to do something to ensure that I would not drown in the exhausted murk I felt was closing in on me.

Last night I was reading old journals (life is SO cyclical, by the way), and came across those lines again. I thought of tearing the page out and framing it, but I'm way too reverent (my journals are artifacts!) for that. So instead I made it into a book.

To be continued...


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