me: it just occurred to me that whatever we end up talking about, our duologue will hold one very exciting distinction.
me: one sec. coffee refill.
me: back! is this an okay time?
also: coffee is the truth.
Sophie: Yes, this is a great time.
Coffee is great! I've actually been trying to cut back.
Tea just doesn't have the same kick.
me: it doesn't. and i would LOVE to have a life that didn't require a kick. but till then...
Sophie: Coffee it is.
me: good for you for trying to cut back, though.
so, who are you?
Sophie: I'm Sophie Innerfield!
this is funny... i have all these friend questions to ask, like - how was your night last night and are you going to magen's show tomorrow, but that's not really why we're here. let me consult the official interview questions....
Sophie: Ooo, sounds good. Let's stick around after the interview portion and have a friend chat.
me: good idea.
it'll be really juicy.
(i just said that so people will wish they could read that part, too and so we sound all intriguing.)
(i hope it works.)
me: oh this is a good sophie question.
if you could remove just one thing from existence, what would it be?
Sophie: Oh boy.
That's actually a terrible, terrible question for me.
Sophie: Everything I think of has a flip side.
I don't think there's anything good about malaria.
me: good point. what were some of the candidates with positive flip sides?
Sophie: Heroin (opiates are an important therapeutic drug), Facebook (endless, endless material for ridicule)
My need to make a living, which is what gets me up at a reasonable hour every day
me: you think you wouldn't get up otherwise?
Sophie: Not at a reasonable hour anyway
I think that having something to rebel against or escape from is a big part of why we do things, especially as musicians. I'm not sure how much I would get done with unlimited time.
I'd like a little bit more time, but I still need some structure.
me: i've thought a lot about the structure factor, but the rebellion thing is an interesting idea.
do you think we need to define ourselves against something? or is that not quite right.
Sophie: Of course music doesn't feel much like rebellion when I'm practicing technique.
Yes, I think that's true
Sophie: I think it helps when we have something to be be angsty about
And for those of us with broad-minded, thorough liberal arts educations in administrative positions...
me: that was quick.
'cause that's us, right?
and we're both way too smart for our jobs.
Sophie: It's true.
me: so what if we engaged the really dark crap of the world more.
then could we quit our jobs and still be creative?
Sophie: No, I just think it's easier to make time for what you really care about when you really have to make the time
me: the making time thing is definitely true, but that's the structure thing, right?
Putting the work in
me: i bet i could use the word "thing" way more than twice in a sentence.
okay let's daydream about what you'd rather be doing.
Sophie: It's a useful word!
OK, that sounds fun!
me: let's say you could choose 3 whole lives and magically have all 3.
i know there's a lot of conversation among women about career vs. family, so most might be happy with just 2 lives. but you're a dynamic person, so you get 3.
1. Stay at home Cambridge mom with 3 smart awesome kids
With a detached house in Cambridgeport, recently renovated
2. Holistic health counselor/pilates instructor/generally healthy person who moves around a lot
3. Rock star
me: what kinds of places would you move around to and from, as a health guru?
also, don't you avoid vegetables? :)
Sophie: Well, if I were some kind of fitness instructor I'd imagine that I'd have to maintain my own fitness fairly well
I have gotten so much better about vegetables!!
I bought kale last week. Kale!
me: that's impressive. did you eat it, too?
me: well done!
Sophie: It's very bitter.
But I did it, and it was OK. It's good with a little lemon juice and olive oil.
me: that sounds right.
maybe not good, but right.
so moving around?
do you just mean moving your body? as opposed to moving from town to town?
hm. i just imagined you as my pilates instructor (not that i have ever or have any intention of actually doing pilates) and you were VERY effective.
and i'd totally eat kale if you told me to.
Sophie: Pilates is amazing
me: i think putting you in a position of authority in an area that you're passionate about makes a lot of sense.
but probably an area that people go out of their way to get into.
as opposed to say, the second grade.
No, it's true. I'm good at acting authoritative.
me: i was just thinking about the thing (thing!) you said the other night about your early school reports and your direction of creative play.
hm. what about theater direction?
did you do any acting ever?
Sophie: My entire childhood and early adolescence
Theater camp every summer, Wakefield Repertory Youth Theater during the year
I thought I would be an actress
me: wow, i had no idea! when did that change?
Sophie: During high school I stopped doing anything extracurricular and focused entirely on my grades
I worked a lot of jobs outside of school, but I quit music and acting
Same for college
I don't know why
I think I thought it was the practical choice
Sophie: I'm angry at myself now, sometimes
I think about how much better at singing and piano I'd be if I'd continued working on them throughout my teens and early 20s
You'll be happy to know I was 10th in my high school class of 235 and graduated Magna Cum Laude from Brandeis, though
me: i think it takes a really specific kind of person to self-motivate enough as a teenager to work hard on music.
Sophie: It does, right?? I have to tell myself that
me: it totally does.
and then there are the kinds of people who graduate 10th in their class. so i wouldn't be too hard on yourself.
and then there are the kids who write poetry in math class.
me: (but i got A's in math, World! don't underestimate me!)
Sophie: Yay multitasking!
me: okay let's see, new question.
who was your first idol?
Sophie: Julie Andrews (as Fraulein Maria from Sound of Music) and Ariel from the Little Mermaid
I think I wanted a life where you could sing theatrically about everything, all the time
I think I still do
me: you should absolutely make it happen.
i can't remember your myers-briggs type, except that we're opposites and not supposed to get along at all. but now i realize why we do.
Sophie: I'm an ENTJ*
But honestly I'm right on the line with ENFJ
Especially as I've gotten older
Sophie: And I think "cult leader" suits me better than "dictator"
I prefer the more charismatic of the two to describe myself
me: sure, sure.
and hiring minions to off whomever threatens you just doesn't sound like quite your style.
you're more hands-on.
Sophie: It's true
what are you reading/watching lately?
Sophie: I've been reading a ton of romance/thriller novels because they're a great escape from reality
And watching Veronica Mars
And I have developed the most insane crush on Logan Echolls
The bad boy archetype
Nick has been making so much fun of me
But I can't help it!
I'm going to go look at pictures of him right now.
me: send me a link to your favorite one, so we can show the folks at home.
Sophie: He looks so YOUNG
OK, I'm emailing you one
And it's available on Netflix Instant
me: i hadn't heard of it till right now!
Sophie: You would love it!
Magen and I are obsessed, though I'm about six years behind
Very strong female lead
me: i do like those.
okay on to my favorite questions.
what are you passionate about?
Sophie: Politically, I'm a pretty passionate social liberal
I'm passionate about honesty in art and life
Which sounds super pretentious
But it's a real thing I think about a lot
me: so practically, what does that mean/look like?
Sophie: I'm not sure
I don't like bands or people who are "on" 100% of the time
Or it's not that I don't LIKE them, I'd just rather not be around them
I find it exhausting when I have to interact with someone's idea of themselves rather than the actual person
I mean we're all guilty of that to some degree
But I try to be the same person to everyone
And not have an extra veneer
me: yeah, what do you think it is about that kind of interaction that's so draining?
Sophie: Part of the fun of talking to people is getting to know them
And in that kind of interaction you're just treading water with someone
I like to really know people
me: with the prominence of the "I" in my INFP, i find it can be difficult to be open about who i am with people i'm just getting to know -- in the way you describe. how are you able to be honest and open in that way?
Sophie: There's a difference between being a naturally shy person and putting on a show for people, so don't think I'm criticizing your personality type, first of all. :)
I'm all E
me: right, no
Sophie: So being extroverted is just a really natural part of my personality
I have no trouble being up front with people
My big mouth has gotten me in trouble my whole life
me: care to share any examples?
Sophie: Oh boy
Well, at work I get in trouble in meetings
I'm really good at taking minutes so I'm in a lot of important meetings at work
But occasionally things have been said that have gotten me so riled up (which I am not going to share on the internet)
That I'll say something
And my boss will have to pull me aside the next day and say
"Sophie, you can't say those things in meetings!"
I get righteously indignant very easily
But also in high school I had a much worse temper and was generally bitchy
So I was constantly digging myself into holes with people
I've gotten so much more socially acceptable, it's amazing
i guess there's a balance to be struck. there's honest and then there's honest.
Sophie: Honesty and tact are best friends
what do you know for sure?
I'm sure that it's important to be nice to people
I'm not saying I live this all the time
But I'm sure it's important
me: what do you believe in?
I believe that happiness isn't the ultimate goal
I believe in balance
me: what is the ultimate goal, if not happiness?
Sophie: The ability to roll with the punches!
me: huh... so like, tolerance of crappiness?
Sophie: There's always going to be crappiness
No matter how carefully we set up our lives
So I think the goal is to be able to move through it without feeling like it's destroying our grand plans in some major way
Everything is so cyclical
me: i totally agree with that, but will you say more about it? what's the cycle?
or what are the cycles?
Sophie: The ups and down of a normal existence
Just when you get your ducks in a row, one gets lost or eaten by a coyote or something
It's just how it works
So I think the thing is to just accept the imperfection and work within it
Rather than fighting
me: sounds about right. so when you say happiness isn't the goal, you're defining happiness as... a state of things being generally as you want them?
That is my definition
me: you say that very definitively. should we read into it?
me and the folks at home
Sophie: No, I don't think you need to read into it. I think that you summed up my personal definition of happiness very well
Totally by accident
what's something you don't know but wish you did?
Sophie: How to relax
mkay TARDIS. all of time and space with a well-versed guide. where/when would you want to go?
Sophie: Back to ancient Greece! I was obsessed with Greek mythology as a kid.
Sophie: She's a total badass
Smart and way tough
me: like you!
(where's brendan boogie when i need to be all "HA" about jungian archetypes?
okay it's time for the last two questions, which you get to make up. one more you'd like to answer/talk about and one for you to ask me.
whoa i forgot the ) up there.
me: so much for a typo-free chat. but you're still doing well.
I'm having trouble making up a question!
me: it can be anything at all.
Three things I'm obsessed with
Recycling, keeping my house clean, and skin care.
me: :) absolutely.
is that my question, too?
over the course of my life, i think my main obsession is understanding and getting better at love.
that might be the only one that's stood the test of time.
but currently i'm obssessed with Doctor Who
and, hm. oh yes, seasons.
Sophie: Seasons are great.
me: as psychological models.
that one will probably last awhile because it takes several years to get it figured out
And things change
shall we switch to talking about juicy off-the-record stuff now?
oh wait, one question.
me: oxford comma.
Yes No Maybe (circle one)
Sophie: F*CK YES
I can't stand not having it there!
me: oxford comma is totally blushing with bliss right now.
I do so much copy editing at work
We use the Chicago MOS, so I get to add it all the time.
Sophie: How do you feel about it?
me: i prefer it.
me: but, oddly, an & in place of "and" (in some informal context) makes me feel a little bit better if it's missing.
Sophie: Yes, agreed.
You don't want to have an ampersand and a comma
It's too cluttered
Sophie: Alright, onward to juicy friend chat?
ENTJ: The Evil Overlord
The ENTJ is best characterized by his charisma, his ability to grasp complex situations and to think flexibly and creatively, his keen and active intelligence, and his overwhelming desire to crush the world beneath his boot. ENTJs are naturally outgoing and love the company of other people, particulalry minions, henchmen, slaves, and the others they rule with ruthless efficiency.
ENTJs usually die at the hand of secret government agents in a fiery cataclysm that destroys their entire underground fortress. Often, Evil Overlords will have a secret clone whose implanted memories contain all the knowledge and ambition of the original, stored in cryonic suspension in a safe location. The clone will appear in a sequel.
RECREATION: ENTJs enjoy spending their leisure time in groups, seeking out the company of others with whom they can exchange strategies and ideas, and test their mind control rays. They also enjoy competitive games which challenge them intellectually, such as chess, go, and "tell me where the missiles are or I'll open the pirhana cage and the girl dies."
COMPATIBILITY: Ideal companions include ENTPs, whose inventive natures often most useful; and ESTJs, who make excellent henchmen once the neural realignment is complete. ENTJs often employ the services of ISTJs but don't usually make good romantic partners with them. Under no circumstances should an ENTJ ever date an ENFJ; no good can come of it.
Famous ENTJs include Ming the Merciless, John Bigboote, and Charles Montgomery Burns.